A village destroyed.....


It was a dark and stormy night, lightning flashed between the towering peaks of the Sun Lee Mountains.  Sum Ting Wong lay tossing on his straw mattress, unable to sleep.  His sister, Suk Yu turned to him and scathingly said "stop that, you make the straw sticky"


Sum Ting sulkily left their hut to stretch his legs and get some privacy where he could knock one off, the rain lashed his face soaking him in seconds.  Wandering along the path a glint of light ahead caught his eye, each time the lightning flashed the glint came again.. each time closer.


"What is it?" thought Sum Ting to himself, he peered into the gloom trying to make out the details. Dread and horror spread across his face once he had.  He turned and ran, just in time as an arrow sped though the spot where he was standing.  


With a curse the leader of the Teilfling Bandits swiped the archer a blow to the shoulder "Get him...  Now!"


Sum Ting ran, lungs bursting he tried to shout out to the village but he had no breath left to make himself heard.  He ran to his hut to alert his family. 


Suk Yu looked up angrily as her brother burst in noisily splattering mud inside,  She was about to swear when an arrow exited her brother's eye from behind.


Her scream "Sum Ting Wong! " pierced the air.


"Damn" muttered the bandit leader  "Kill all the men, Now" he shouted.


Chaos erupted throughout the village. Men, women, children and dogs running all over


Suk Yu grabbed her baby brother, and ran towards the deer trail she knew could lead her to safety.  She was joined by Bang Di Pot, recognised to be the best cook of the village, covering her head with her trusty wok. 


Ow Mi Ni hobbled from his hut, his old, experienced eyes noting the details of the swordplay, the spears skewering the men as they ran, tripping the women so they couldn't.  He watch Suk Mi and Bang Di flee to the narrow path.


"I can buy them some time" he thought to himself.  Two of the Teifling bandits tried to intercept him, his blade flashed twice and they fell to the floor.  Ow Mi Ni took up position across the narrow entrance to the path.  The sounds of the short fight died away, all that could be heard is the wailing of the women and the grunting of several bandits as they relieved themselves on the women and girls.


The bandit leader was satisfied with today's catch, just the old man stood between him and the last two witnesses. Drawing his sword he surveyed the two dead bandits, his only losses.


"Ow Mi Ni, your reputation precedes you, but your last battles were 40 years ago, you cannot stand before us now, you must be 70 at least.  I will grant you one last honour though, you will die with your sword in hand."


"Vile offspring of a fornicating whore, your deeds do not precede you, who are you to come here molesting these children and pretending to be something  but you are less than the excrement of goats that I stand in.  Come see how you can handle an old man" replied Ow Mi Ni


"No" Replied the bandit leader.  "Shoot him"


Arrows pierced Ow Mi Ni's body knocking him to the ground.


"Find those women, first one back with them gets to use them both first."


The bandits Whooped in excitement and ran up the path. 


"They're coming" panted Suk Mi.


"They can only come one at a time, its too narrow"


The two girls, one carrying the infant, continued to run along the trail, the yelling of the bandits gaining volume.


They came to the small mountain stream that feeds the valley below, it gathers water from tributaries around the mountains to become the mighty Ying Tong river.


"We cannot outrun them, we are doomed" wailed Suk Mi, "They will kill him and rape us"


"Here, take this, put him in it and set him downstream" said Bang Di


Gently kissing her baby brother on the forehead Suk Mi put him into the Wok and gently lowered him to the stream. "Good bye little one, may fortune find you, grow strong, avenge us one day"


The current carried him away...


Harold and Cynthia were boating on the Ying Tong river as part of their vacation, both were large, very well fed people, wearing garish clothing and talking loudly to each other. The local guide constantly muttering under his breath and shaking his head.

Harold cast the line off his rod for the 17th time that hour "Got anymore of that beer Cynthia?"


"shhure do honey, want another salt beef sandwich?"


"That would be great Cynth, got any of Our mustard, this local stuff tastes like shit"


"Oh honey we are all out, we have that red sauce though"


“its coming right up Hon”


Harold closed his eyes and sighed, life could not be better. He sat back feet up with the rod between his legs, hands behind his head. The was a small metallic tap on the side of the boat.



In time to the water lapping against the side of the boat.




Harold opened his eyes, that sound was intruding on his vacation. He got up to look around at what could be causing this annoying noise.


“Honneyyyyyy” he called.


“Yes Honey?” Cynthia called.


“Come see this”


“coming.”  Cynthia exited the galley/cabin of the boat, a large 12 inch sandwich dripping with red sauce in each hand.


“Here’s your sandwich dear, what you got?”




Harold pointed down into the water below, floating curled up asleep in what appeared to be a small round metal boat was a baby. squealing like a stuck pig Cynthia dropped the sandwiches and reached over the side hauling the baby up into her mighty bosom.  lots of inarticulate cooing sounds came from her as she rocked the baby side to side, mesmerising the local guide with the pendulous swings of her boobs.


"its a Youguai, throw it back, throw it back" insisted the Guide.


Harold and Cynthia just rolled their eyes


"Can I Keep it Harold?"


"Sorry Honey, its got to belong to someone, besides, these are its people, they are.... Different.."


"You, whatsyourname, where can we take this adorable bundle to be looked after"


"My name is Sho Yu Wai, you put it in the river, it is a demon"


Harold narrowed his eyes and flexed his muscles that could be seen under his rolls of flab..


"There is a temple of monks not too far, they take in such creatures" added Sho Yu quickly. 


The trio, now accompanied by the young infant, moored the boat back where they left their ox drawn Caravan, a large garish design with deer antlers and bells adorning the whole surface.  


"ooose a diddle diddums then yes you are yes you are coochy coo my little sweet dumpling yes you are"  came from the interior as they trundled along.


Many hours passed as the wagon rose within the Sun Lee mountains, Sho Yu's eyes were furtive, as if in great pain alert for their destination. "diddle diddums then yes you are yes you are coochy coo my little sweet dumpling yes you are" came again from the inside. 


Sho Yu winced one more "please god make her stop"  He drew a deep breath, calmed himself, he knew he was approaching the temple, he could feel the calmness that eminates from the temple starting to trickle into his mind and steeled himself so he did not appear weak in front of the monks.  Climbing a final rise the temple came into view, it was neither majestic nor grandiose, worn buildings, paint was peeling from columns and buttresses across the temple.


The gates were shut.


"Hmmph, no one home, looks like honey, lets see if I can get their attention."  Harold reached for a horn beneath his seat and said "blow me" 


Sho Yu leapt from his seat at the incredible noise , a noise, later to be know as La cucaracha horn, that pierced the sky.


The door opened slowly, a wizened old man stared at Sho Yu.


"What you want" he said in the tongue of the Sun Lee mountains


"Oh great and wise one, may the ancestors bring you blessings and joy and many years of health, these People, have recovered an infant from the river and have brought it here for succour." replied Sho Yu.


"Hmph" replied the Monk, he shuffled aside and pushed the door wider,  he gestured to Harold and Cynthia, who has stepped from the inside, to enter. 


"Nice place" Commented Harold.


"let me see the child" said the monk, still in Sun Lee Dialect


"What he say" asked Harold


"He wants to see the child" replied Sho Yu


"Cynthia, Bring that bundle out to the monk" said Harold to Cynthia


"Can't I keep him" she pined.


"You know you can't dear"


Cynthia hands the baby, with the wok he was found in, to the monk, who thoroughly inspects the babe.


"What's it's name" asks the Monk.


"What's his name " translates Sho Yu


"He's my Sweet Piggy bun bun" responds Cynthia,


"Char Sui Bao" translates Sho Yu


"Stupid Name, these foreigners are strange. Goodbye."


The monk, turns with the child and walks into the monastery buildings.


"We must leave now" Sho yu informed Harold and Cynthia.


Harold leads a crying Cynthia away from the Monastery.


A montage of a growing child doing all sorts of menial and meaning less tasks interspersed with hitting things and standing in odd positions passes the years...


"It is time for you to leave us for your hermitage quest, you may not return until you have perfected your knowledge and shared it within the world.  You are tasked to study the plants that grow and use them to enhance your skills until you are capable of providing the finest of repasts"  intones the Ancient Monk


Char Sui Bao bows gracefully and retreats from the presence of the great ancient one.


Gathering his meagre belongings, cookware, including an ancient wok, his herbalist tools and a couple of blankets.  he locates a cave near a small village, decayed village and sets to the task given him.


Another montage of Char Sui scribbling notes, testing food and herbs in varying quantities, hitting things and standing in odd positions, occasionally venturing to town to test his learning, earning a few coins to keep him supplied in the very basics he needs.  Time again passes.


"I am ready, it is time to test my skills and the things I have learned in my isolation"  Char Sui Bao sets off with a determined stride. Turns, goes back and picks up his belongings and straps them to himself and sets off once more.


The Party

Humble Narrator and sorcerer - Solomun "Major" Tunde

Fighter - Abraham "Cut throat" Williams

Barbarian - Kal-El

Paladin - Ser Guildan

Cleric - ST Vincent

Rogue - Fiddler Topov

Bard - Bags

Monk - Char Siu Bao


and other supporting cast members